beginning of ends

Today was my official last day at my much-beloved volunteer job of 7 years. This is probably the least permanent, yet probably hardest, good-bye I'll have to do. I love that place, and I've put so much work and love into what I've done there. I've never worked so hard at something that felt so natural and rewarding. I plan to come back for at least a day during the next training, but I doubt I'll be able to put in the same amount of time I have over the last several years. That is a really difficult change to accept.

This is a week of lasts. Every day at work is my last this-day-of-the-week, and working somewhere that is volunteer-staffed and has a different staff every four hours, this will equal a lot of good-byes. It's going to be emotionally exhausting, I know.

I am about to go to bed at 9:30 p.m. to get myself ready for this difficult and crazy week. Oh yeah, and I'm gonna be in Central America at this time next week. Am I ready yet? Nooooooo. But am I going anyway? Oh, yes I am.

Get 'er done!

I'm emerging from my grief-bubble and realizing that all those things on my to-do list didn't magically go away. Now I need to get some shit done.

My advice for students entering any program, but (probably) especially MEPN: do not slack on the incoming student stuff. There's SO much of it. Financial aid stuff. Immunizations and TB testing. And yeah, my ordeal is further complicated by the pending travel to Guatemala (!!!), but luckily travel vaccinations overlapped pretty substantially with school requirements. The school's immunization portal has been malfunctioning, and they emailed today to say it won't be accessible until the day I leave the country. AAAAHHHHH! I hate last-minute!

If you are lucky enough to work in health care currently, try to get some of those requirements done through there. I have Hep B titer and TB tests to show from my job, and that's minimizing the stress at least a bit.

15 more days until I leave my job.

16 more days until I leave the country.

2-ish months until I become a nursing student.

Eeek.

Mourning

I went quiet for a bit. The last week has been odd, unexpected, and painful.

A close friend of mine died in an accident last week. It's never good timing, but I feel like this was especially fucked-up timing.

I didn't go to his funeral, which was a hard decision but one I felt like was the best I could have made. I like to grieve privately.

I did have to call several of his friends to let them know about his passing. I found out via phone myself, and I'd rather those close to him heard that way rather than, you know, electronically. It's not a piece of news I loved giving, but I figure that, going into the field I am, it won't be the only time I have to tell somebody that a person they love has died.

At some point I will start sleeping again. I hope.

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